Honest Answers Pease- what do you think?

Martha Hole





Fish are swimming from their home upstream,


Through the crystal clear water


The distant waterfalls catch my attention


And the wind whistles its tune


New water after the rain,


And the smell it left behind


I become adventurous, and dive in


The sweet honeysuckle lingers in my mouth


The smooth, sandy bottom of the creek greets my feet


The rocks are warm to the touch


The calmness of it all


Like the stillness of a warm summer evening


It is heaven on Earth


Fish fly from the water,


And this adventure becomes an enjoyable event

Honest Answers Pease- what do you think?
I'd say it's VERY good.





Not only is it very poetic and placed in a first-this-then-that order, you also gave each and every object human traits (wind whistles its tune).





I'd say this is very nice, if you entered this in a contest or something I don't know how it would not get a very high ranking.
Reply:if the fish swimming upstream from their home are salmon the water would be quite cold and the jumping into the water and rocks feeling warm to the touch don't really fit. I would also say use more vivid adjectives and verbs ;becomes, calmness, fly are not very attention grabbing. Other than that i would say very nice use of imagery and contrast. :)
Reply:I think maybe your jumping around with the image of your poem.. so for the 2nd to 3rd maybe add another line saying that you're eye followed the stream (or somthing like that) and 4th line chang it to a while... well... try and get your visuals to connect together and watch for some grammer (I'm not one to talk)
Reply:its quite good lots of imagery but the is used so many times!
Reply:I like it, lots of similies and metaphors! I would say an A++